I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Gay?
German.
Pity.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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