the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
