i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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