xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have feelings that need drinking.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize