you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
