this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
accomplished twins. life is a go
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
