I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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