Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
