Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
