so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize