Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize