its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
