a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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