So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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