I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
