When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
