I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
