i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
