I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We are two peas in an std pod
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
