i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
