foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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