Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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