She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize