My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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