I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
