You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
