dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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