I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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