i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
