I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize