you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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