What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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