Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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