oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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