Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
