Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize