He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
