Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
