Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i came on her dog
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
