I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
