why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
