Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
