Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
