Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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