Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
