Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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