Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
