Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
