He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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