I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize