Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
