oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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