just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
