why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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