i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
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