ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
