Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
