ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
