Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS