Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer