My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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