Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
His nipple licking is glorious
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