she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize