My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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