Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
