thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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