so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
