at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
