What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
