No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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